How I am, Why I became
by Kat1054
Summary: From 'Initiation (My 'Dream')' is Venellopey's back story. The girl who killed over half of the Dauntless Members in an open shoot out and bombing. How did she get like this? How did she come to be? AJ, Damini, Monica, Madeline included. This is Venell's life and how she became who she is. How I am. (cursing, heat, hurt, hell) ENJOY! Divergent characters included of course!


**Hello! This story is made from Venellopey's past. Most of you have been asking me if I could do this, and I put up a poll seeing if anyone would read it. The poll is still up so I know if I should continue this or not. Go vote on that please. Okay, so my fans from _'Initiation (My 'Dream')'_ know who Venellopey is so I don't need to explain it to you, but for those of you who have no fucking clue about this girl, she is an 'evil' character in my other fanficiton who manages to kill most of the Dauntless members in an open shoot out and bombing. Sounds interesting? Go read it.**

**Ha,ha. Okay, so this is how she grew up as a child. At the end you can decide if she really is 'evil'. How you see a person is your choice, but know everything before you judge.**

**Chapter 1**

**Venellopey P.O.V.**

They have been interrogating me for a week now, but I refuse to talk. They either slam my head on the table or point guns at me, but I'm too strong willed for me to be broken. I am a bulletproof one way glass. I actually learn more out of them than they get out of me. You see, I killed over half of the Dauntless members here, but that was only part of it. I didn't do it alone. I had help from my girls, the ones I grew up with trained, but one of them decided to turn on me. She shot me and here I am. Her name was Damini, but she goes by Desaree' now. I used to love her, her smile, her determination, her wit, her everything. She was my favorite girl, but that was in the past.

I smile.

Sage: "Why are you smiling?"

Sage is one of the new Dauntless leaders since I killed the rest of them. We sit in the interrogation room, the only room that I know so well.

Me: "Because I'm thinking of a way to get out of here and I found three ways so far." I am lying, but he isn't Candor, so I can get away with it. "Make that four."

Four: "Shut up." He points a gun at me.

I laugh. "Like you will shoot me." He keeps the gun aimed at me. "You can't kill me. Without me, you have no way to the girls."

Sage: "No we don't have a way to the girls whether you're alive or not. I bet you don't even know where they are."

Me: "Of course I do. I told them the plan and made them memorize it for ten years."

Sage: "Seems like a long time. How old are you?"

Me: "17."

Sage: "Don't lie."

Me: "21, the legal age to drink."

Sage: "So, you've been planning to kill us all since you were 11?"

Me: "No, longer than that actually."

Sage: "Care to elaborate?"

Me: "If you have the time to hear the story…I suppose."

Sage: "Now we're getting somewhere."

Me: "Don't get ahead of yourself. The story of why I sit before you today goes back long before the plan to kill you. It goes back into my childhood. Interested?"

Sage: "Certainly."

Me: "You're right. My original name is Vixen Underwood, but my name is also Ellody, Venell, Nellie, and Venellopey. But, you already knew that." Sage nods. "I am many ages. 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and 21. 21 being my current age. I was born in many factions; Abnegation, Erudite, Amity, Dauntless, but the faction I was originally born in was Candor. I've been through many initiations. I'm not going to go over the initiations, but I've met people who know what I'm doing and are actually helping me. They should be going through with the plan shortly. Say goodbye to your wall."

Sage's eyes widen. He turns to Four and orders, "Get the guards and evacuate the Amity compound's gates."

Me: "I thought you said you had time to hear my story."

Sage: "I do, now get to the point."

Me: I wave my finger as much as I can, but my hands are locked to the table, literally. "No, no, no, I'm in charge right now."

Sage leans back and crosses his arms over his chest.

Me: "It goes back to when I was in Candor…this is before I met my girls."

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14 years ago

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The headline on the daily newspaper read the most disturbing line I've ever seen as a seven year old. I had to wipe my eyes many times before I could even begin the article. Everything was written in Candor black and white. As true as those words read, I knew they were all lies; then again, that's what everyone would think if they found out that their mother died the night before their seventh birthday.

I remember the morning as if it is the last thing someone sees before they go blind. I was sitting at the kitchen table looking at the back of my father's morning paper. That morning I had cereal in my little eye shaped bowl along side with the usual apple. I don't remember the taste of it though; I didn't eat that morning.

I went to school as I normally did, but I couldn't get the headline out of my head. It didn't help that everyone I came in contact with was saying how sorry they were. None of them said they knew how I felt or that my mother was a kind, smart, selfless, or brave woman. They just said that she was honest. There was no other trait they could come up with. They didn't know her like me.

"I'm not sorry that she died. I never knew her so how could I be sorry? Especially if she raised you. She did a horrible job. Gosh, you look like you belong in Amity," my friend Maddie said as I walked by. I always ignored Maddie.

I watched the Amity children playing in the classrooms. They all seemed to have nothing worrying them, I wished I was them even as a seven year old. I didn't belong in Candor and I've had people tell me that before. I didn't belong and no one should have to feel that was, especially a seven year old.

After a school day of 'sorrys' and 'it wasn't your faults' I went home. There was a note on the fridge that dad had left me.

_Went to help arrange your mother's funeral. Do your homework. I'll be home soon._

_~Dad_

I crumpled up the note with my small hands and threw it against the wall with tears streaming down my face. "I don't want you home. I want mommy to come home soon." I cried. I fell to my knees and felt the emptiness inside me. It was a black hole with a hint of white. I hated that feeling. I could feel the colors of Candor inside me. They told me that they were sorry and that it wasn't my fault. They told me that they were there. The made me know they were there and I didn't want them there. I wanted my mother there instead. This twisting in my stomach and heart knotted itself making it very present. It hit my heart that I couldn't feel my pulse. The only thing that I could physically feel was the tears that were running. How could the one person I loved the most never be able to see me again. How could she be able to watch me grow up? How could I feel her engulf me into a hug and tell me that her death was…unexpected? No, it wasn't unexpected. An image of the headline on the newspaper said otherwise. **Candor Woman** **Half Slaughtered in Suicide attempt**

Her suicide wasn't unexpected. It was planned. That hurt me the most. The pain that she chose to leave me behind. How are you supposed to cope with that? How are you supposed to live with that, knowing that on your birthday? She couldn't at least wait to die? I cried harder and a lump in my throat made it hard for me to breath.

I loved her. Wasn't that enough? Why did she have to go die?

You know, all that day, everyone said that they were sorry…but no one said that it would be okay. Why didn't anyone tell me that? Was believing that it would get easier, that the pain would fade somehow, was that a lie? It sure as hell was a lie because to this day, it still hurts. It cuts deep and my enemies see that as a weakness, but the thing about death is that it builds me up. It lets me know that someone is waiting on the other side for me. My mother's death doesn't scare me of dying; it lets me know that I shouldn't be afraid to die.

I wish I knew that when I was a little girl.

I remember curling up into a ball and crying my heart out on the floor, trying to breath, but my lungs refused. They needed to let out pain more than allow oxygen to come in. I was afraid that it would kill me, but I was only half sane about that.

"M-mommy," I cried. "Come back to me…"

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Present

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Sage: "What does that have to do with anything that's going on here?"

I lean back and smile. "We're just getting started."

**Should I continue? REVIEW!**

**~Kat1054**


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